Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace

Dave’s eyes darted back and forth between Google Maps and his mother’s lowering casket. Traffic was always at its peak this time of day. Why did they have to have the funeral service now? Why not three o’clock on a Wednesday, or something? When the casket finally finished lowering, Dave got in his mother’s Buick and took the 405, just like Google Maps said he should. He was glad he had spent the time looking up the fastest route during the funeral instead of in his parked car. He didn’t want to sit there for another moment.

When he got home, he almost expected something to be cooking. He quickly realized the stupidity of this thought and ordered Domino’s. He wandered around the house a little, stopping to look at small, unfinished notes and faded photos. Dave found a picture of himself as a boy, his mother and father on either side. He sat down on the edge of his parent’s former bed and tried to cry, but all he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and let out a high pitched squeal. 

He didn’t feel like packing for his flight just yet. Instead, he decided to sit on the front and smoke the cigarettes he found in his mother’s bedside drawer while he waited for his Domino’s. As he was smoking his third, he saw that the flag was standing upright on the mailbox. Curious as to what kind of mail his mother had just missed out on, Dave decided to commit a federal felony and open someone else’s mail. He found a full year’s worth of “Dental Health Quarterly” issues and a white envelope with Dave’s home address written on it. He opened the letter, expecting one of those corny annual birthday cards asking for money in the third-to-last line. 

But it just read:

David

Happy Birthday. 

—Mother

Dave looked back in the envelope to find an “Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace” gift card. He pulled it out and examined it. On the back, it said “Expires 3/24/18.” He chuckled to himself. It was March 23rd. He went back inside, clutching the note and the gift card. 

Dave tried to go to sleep early that night but found himself lying awake, thinking about his mother’s gift. Really? Uncle Chuck’s Fun Palace? I live halfway across the country, and she got me a gift card to the arcade I used to go to when I was ten. Dave rolled over in his old bed and shut his eyes. 

I wonder if they still have Roller Force Instinct. 

He grabbed the gift card, got in his Buick, and typed 'Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace’s' into Google Maps. 

When he arrived at the front desk of Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace, he was greeted by a skinny man with a gap in his front teeth. His greasy hair was matted against an even greasier scalp. With a peach-fuzz mustache to top the whole thing off. 'Gus' was scrawled on his name tag in thin sharpie. Dave waited patiently at the desk for Gus to look up from his vintage GameBoy Color. 

“Um, excuse me—” Dave was cut off by the blank stare he was given. Just before Dave could formulate another sentence, Gus pointed to a sign that said, “Please Buzz the Buzzer for Assistance.” Dave gingerly pressed down on the big red button under the sign. Gus looked up again. 

With a long sigh, he said his line:

“Hi-welcome-to-Uncle-Chuck’s-Fun-Palace-my-name-is-Gus-how-may-I-be-of-assistance.” 

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Dave couldn’t hear anything over the Kidz Bop 2014 pulsing through the loudspeakers.

“What do you want,” Gus groaned. 

“Oh, well, I have this gift card that’s good until tomorrow.” Dave shoved the gift card toward Gus’s face. 

“Is it for your kid?”

“No. It’s from my Mom. She tried to send it to me for my birthday, but the mailman didn’t see it or something and I didn’t get it.” As an afterthought, he mumbled, “And now she’s dead.” 

“Um, ok. I gotta look it up. Can I get the name of whoever bought it?”

“It should be under her name. Jane Ross.” Something felt wrong about saying his mother’s full name now. 

Gus swiped the card.  “Ok, sir. You’re good for three games.”

“Thanks.” Dave started to walk away. “Oh, by the way, do you guys still have Roller Force Instinct?”

“What?”
“Roller Force Ins—”

“No, we don’t have that game.” Gus buried himself back into his vintage Gameboy Color.

Dave wandered aimlessly around Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace. Finally, he stopped at the spot where Roller Force Instinct used to be. He wasn’t surprised they got rid of it. It was never the most popular game in the arcade, but it was always his favorite. In its place was a big ugly new machine with “ZOMBIE SURVIVAL BLOODBATH X” scrawled across it. Disappointed, he left Uncle Chuck’s Fun Palace and got in his mother’s car. His hand lingered on the gearshift. The flickering neon sign illuminated his car briefly, before sputtering out again. Dave let his head fall against the steering wheel. His car let out a long whining beep until he could gather the energy to lift his head up again. Dave looked at himself in the rear-view mirror. 

“Fine,” he said to himself. “Fine. You win. Happy?” 

Dave got out of his car and started walking back to Uncle Chuck’s Fun Palace. “I’m walking back now. I’ll miss my flight, I don’t care.” Dave burst through the doors, where Gus remained in the same position as when Dave left him.

“You win! Are you fucking happy?”

Gus looked up, confused. “What?”

“Nothing, sorry. I want 10 more games.” 

“Have you even used your first three?”
“10 more games, please.”

“Ok, whatever, man. It’s your forty bucks.”

Dave reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out two crumpled 20s.  Gus slowly counted out ten tokens. “Um, please enjoy your Uncle Chuck's Fun Palace experience.” 

Dave snatched the tokens and walked over to “ZOMBIE SURVIVAL BLOODBATH X.” When he got to the game, a ten-year-old boy was playing it. Dave tapped the kid on the shoulder. 

“Excuse me, kid, how many more rounds are you gonna play?”

The boy looked up at him and shrugged. “Dunno. Do you wanna be player two?”

“Sure. Thanks.” Dave gingerly inserted a token and, when he was ready, pressed start.